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Posts tagged ‘Marriage Tips’

I love my husband!

When he does occasionally snore, I nudge him and he rolls over. Even if he does not, at least I know he is in bed, next to me. This is a good thing!

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Sound Familiar?

Tuesday’s Top Three

Top Three Reasons Why I have the Best Husband in the World

1) Norm has made our family his priority – He is here virtually every night for dinner and has turned down other jobs that would require more hours away.

2) He loves God and is a faithful servant to our family and our church.

3) He knows the true meaning of the marriage vows ” In sickness and in health “.

Why do you think your husband is the best?

You can join the Tuesday’s Top Three fun by posting your list on your blog, then linking to it HERE

Focus on the Family with Dr. James Dobson

Focus on the Family with Dr. James Dobson

Dr. James Dobson FOCUS ON THE FAMILY with Dr. James Dobson

NAGGING WIFE AND OVERWORKED HUSBAND EQUAL TROUBLED MARRIAGE

QUESTION: What do you consider to be the greatest threat to the stability of families today?

DR. DOBSON: It would be a phenomenon that every marriage counselor deals with regularly. The scenario involves a vulnerable woman who depends on her husband to meet her emotional needs, and a workaholic man who has little time for family responsibilities. Year after year she reaches for him and finds he’s not there. She nags, complains, cries and attacks him for his failures — to no avail. He is carrying the load of three men in his business or profession and can’t figure out how to keep that enterprise going while providing what his wife needs. As time goes by, she becomes increasingly angry, which drives him even further into his workaday world. He is respected and successful there. And thereafter he is even less accessible to her. Then one day, to her husband’s shock, this woman reaches a breaking point and either leaves him for someone else or files for divorce. It is a decision she may live to regret and one that often devastates her children — although by then, the marriage is long-gone. It’s such a preventable disaster, but one that millions of other families will be victimized by in coming years.

The Sacred Us

The Sacred Us

By Amy Carroll

Titus 2: 3-5, “…teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live… (and) to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (NIV)

She didn’t even know that I was watching her. Friends of mine had told me that a woman at our church named Deborah had decided to never speak negatively about her husband. Although I truly loved my husband and thought he was wonderful, he wasn’t perfect. I wondered what’s the real harm in complaining about him some to friends and coworkers who have plenty to say about their husbands?

Go read the rest here, but we warned, it is very convicting.

Top 5 books on love and marriage from The Wall Street Journal.

A few more books to put on the ever growing Books To Read List. Check it out for yourself.

(The article is linked in this post’s title.)

Tend Your Own Garden

Tend Your Own Garden

By Linda S. Mintle, Ph.D.

Are you complaining about your spouse but not dealing with your own issues?
Dr. Linda Helps – “I can’t live with this man. He makes me crazy. I constantly have to remind him of even the simplest things. He’s like having another child.”
“She would make anyone insane. She always tells me what to do. All she does is nag. I feel like an idiot who lives with his mother.”
Have you ever said this or something similar? Here is your chance to insert your favorite reason why your spouse drives you nuts and keeps you from living the blissful life you know is possible. OK now get ready to be corrected!
Too many husbands and wives spend too much time pulling weeds from each other’s gardens. What am I talking about for those of you who hate gardening and never pull anything out of ground? I’m talking about our tendency to complain and criticize the other person so we don’t have to look at our own problems (weeds).
We all have a garden inside of us. Our bodies are fertile soil. We sow all kinds of seeds in our gardens–good seeds like kindness, patience, praise, etc. or bad seeds like lust, control, criticism, etc. The more good seed you put in your garden, the more good harvest you get. The more bad seed you plant, the more weeds will crop up and choke any potential harvest (This is Basic Farming 101).
Husbands and wives like to poke around in the gardens of their spouses. They are quick to spot the weeds and spend a great deal of time pulling at them. As a result, they don’t tend the seed in their own gardens and allow things to creep in that aren’t good (anger, bitterness, frustration, disappointment, etc.). Then, they grow weeds in both places and neither one is attending to their own stuff. They ‘d rather pull the obvious weeds from the spouse’s garden and ignore what’s growing in theirs.

Spend time tending, watering and guarding your own garden and your relationship will be better. If you are responsible for your issues and attend to them, you will improve your relationship.

Couples come to therapy all the time with complaints about the other spouse. I try to get each one to stop complaining and address his or her part of the problem. When they do attend to their own stuff, the other person is less defensive and more likely to do some work. And I can actually help each person pull his/her own weeds. So the next time you attempt to pull weeds in your spouse’s garden, check your own first. Deal with your ground clutter and wait for the beautiful harvest to come.

Dr. Mintle – author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – is a speaker and media personality, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over twenty years in psychotherapy practice.
For more articles by Dr. Linda Mintle visit www.drlindahelps.com.

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